Mick Celebrates Nine Shows with Nothing New

I know, what would this blog be if it weren't for Mick Molloy and his shambolic show The Nation to write about?

But stuff it, it's my blog and if I choose to dissect his latest foray into late, or should I say late-late night television, I will.

With a brief shift into half-decent entertainment last week, The Nation slipped firmly back into mediocrity last night. You probably missed it so I'll give you the juice here:

• Secret Women's Business returned with Amanda Keller and Julia Zemiro. I love Julia Zemiro - she's a sharp cool/daggy mix all bundled up into an extremely appealing package. Amanda Keller has quite a few fans, she can think on her feet and brandishes a whip-smart motormouth, she's not my cup of ginger zinger with a dash of honey but she knows how to work it. Unfortunately these two couldn't save Mick's show. What is it with the whole 'Secret Women's Business' angle and the kitschy graphic of 1950's housewives anyway?
• Last week Kate Langbroek appeared in a sketch and later as a guest. Even though she chatted with Mick about having three kids and putting her rock and liquor-loving husband on a curfew - she didn't have to be introduced under the guise of revealing 'Secret Women's Business'. Mind you, she worked brilliantly with Mick, asking him about still being single and laughing good-naturedly at her own expense. It really drove home the two very important lessons that Mick and his brothers should learn - casting and chemistry.
• It appears that Akmal and Jackie O now alternate their spot at the desk each week. Hmmm one week vapid celeb goss (with credibility-raising laptop prop) at least two days past its use-by date and the next...current affairs with a comedic twist. Apparently you can see that connection from the moon.
• It seems that Nikki Osborne has left the building. No-one noticed. Maybe she's out trying to find a third k to put into her name? Will she reappear as one of the chicks on Aerobics Oz Style? Mick's already put it on record that nailing one of those beauties is one of his things to do before he dies.
• Dave O'Neil was a guest, talking up his new book 'Everything Tastes Better Crumbed' and appearing as a slobby Tour de France racer. I love Dave, and quite frankly I think he's onto something with his crumbing adventure. I mean even eggplant, which I despise, is edible once dipped in crumbs and dripping in saturated fat.
• Tiffany Cherry really is very good. But must we intersperse her sporting segments with pervy bikini shots from Natalie Gulbis' latest FHM spread?

It looks like The Nation is going to be allowed to see out its run of eleven or twelve shows. I doubt it will get renewed but it serves as a great case study into how to make good television.

I'm not going to bang on about casting, chemistry, instincts, forethought or good writing. I'm not going to waffle on about getting more funny women on our small screens. I'm not going to open the window and scream out "Mick you're not a host! Produce by all means, but don't make yourself a star." Why would I?

The Nation - Episode 2

After what I have already had to say here and here and here and here I thought you would be sick of reading my thoughts on Mick Molloy's intriguing mish-mash The Nation. But judging from the stats - I was clearly wrong.

So you want to know what I thought of episode 2?


I thought it was a slight improvement but still has a long way to go. Perhaps this is best said in pictures.













Welll do you girls?













If the dismal ratings and varied reactions are anything to go by then some changes need to be made. Otherwise it's off to the crap heap with Libbi Gore and her plastically enhanced mates from The Catch-Up.





So what would I do differently?

• Never sign on all the talent at the start. Remember when The Panel started? They had a six-seater desk and a set panel. It didn't take long for them to realise that five was better than six and that a revolving panel worked better. Then they could keep the same formula but freshen it up each week with some changing faces. Obviously you have a regular crew but you share it around - like they do with Thank God You're Here. So instead of having Akmal sitting at the desk each week - have someone different. There are absolutely heaps of amazing, talented, local comedians out there - bring them on. People who don't like Akmal are already tuning out but if next week Greg Fleet or Denise Scott or Cal Wilson is going to be doing the desk chat and the punter likes him/her - they're back.



• If you're going to do vox pops do them well - not some pathetic poor imitation of something The Chaser boys might have done.



• Don't disrespect your female audience. Please. Hire some more writers. Hire some female ones. Lose the Ralph TV ads. Don't have hot young ladies fluffing about and average-looking forty-something blokes providing the funny. It doesn't wash. I mean this with no disrespect at all to Nikki Osborne, Tiffany Cherry and Jackie O. They are three fine looking ladies who all have some talent. But what are they required to do? Honestly, Osborne has brought absolutely nothing to this show - maybe she's tried but the Molloy Boys can't see her doing anything other than copping a feel from Calleja in an ordinary sketch?



• Lose the sport and entertainment bits. If people really want to know about this they don't want to see it here. The entertainment segment is nothing more than an opportunity to talk about Hollywood startlet trainwrecks and if we want to know about this sort of stuff we'll just log onto one of the many, many websites covering it.



• How about using some more local talent with a vox pop/video segment? Did you see Lawrence Leung's show at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival? You should have. He has a couple of hilarious short video segments that include him trying some awkward pick-up techniques on the ladies and also doing some excellent breakdancing in a local competition. Use him. Get some other local talent to try their hand at it too.



• Mick Molloy - make a show you want to watch. I don't think you are. You are making a show you think people want to watch. But they don't. Trust your gut mate. It's big enough.

Finally I would like to leave you with this thought. A certain broadcaster thinks Mick Molloy would be more comfortable dressed as a dog. What do you think?

If not Nikki Osborne - then who?

Every since I wrote that post lamenting the lack of women on Australian television shows I have been inundated with emails and phone calls. Alright, most of the emails have been spam and the phone calls have usually been from my mum. But that's not to say that this hasn't struck a nerve with someone somewhere. There is a lot of talk about this in the industry and I hope there will be a lot more grumbling in the various media outlets soon.

Last Monday Meshel Laurie had Nikki Osborne as her guest on the Nova Breakfast radio show in Brisbane. Meshel asked Nikki about her role in Mick Molloy's new show, The Nation and the fact that all the guys are comedians and the girls, well...aren't. Nikki went on to chat about her 'acting ability' and that she is heavily involved in the sketch element of the show. Listen to it here.

On the fist episode of The Nation Nikki Osborne did pretty much nothing except a pathetic Paris Hilton imitation so if that's what she deems as 'heavily involved' then don't blink or you could miss the rest of her extensive body of work.

It's easy to see why Nikki Osborne would take the role. What a great opportunity for someone whose been soliciting text messages from late-night pervy viewers to jump into a prime-time show with some experienced players. It's not her fault she was born drop-dead gorgeous. But it does tell us a lot about the thinking behind the Molloy Boy production team.

OK, so I'm not happy with Nikki or Jackie O.

So who are re: soundings favourite women we would love to see on television? Below I've listed some favourite personalities/broadcasters/writers/comedians and other chicks we dig.

• Denise Scott


• Judith Lucy


• Kate McLennan


• Julie McCrossin


• Sam Lane


• Catherine Deveny


• Jennifer Byrne


• Meshel Laurie


• Fee Bamford-Bracher


• Kate Langbroek


• George McEncroe


• Bev Killick


• Kim Hope


• Myf Warhurst


• Sonia Kruger


• Fiona O'Loughlin


• Libbi Gorr


• Cal Wilson

I have searched high and low to try and find some footage of Libbi Gorr in her Elle Mcfeast role from the Live and Sweaty days but alas no joy. Instead I'll leave you with this youtube clip of Max Sharam performing on Elle McFeast's show in 1998. More live music on tv will be addressed in another post.

NB: re: soundings will be returning to radio/streaming/podcasting reviewing very soon

The Notion of The Nation (part 2)

OK, this show didn’t suck the giant donkey balls I expected it to. But it wasn’t exactly a shining jewel in the Nein Kampf tiara either. Firstly one way to alienate a female audience is to have Ralph TV ads screening in the break. It shows what Nine is expecting of the audience – not much when it comes to brainpower but packing a fair bit of heat in the pants region.

First let's tackle the good parts of the show: Stephen Curry’s interview with Lisa McCune was great. When I saw Lisa McCune was to be a guest I cringed, 'wheel out an Australian sweetheart with her swag of Logies'. But she was fantastic. Curry played the pretentious fool perfectly, in the style of Ben Stiller or Owen Wilson, except better.

I like Tiffany Cherry. She's gorgeous and she knows what she's talking about - which is sport.

Akmal Saleh was alright in his chat at the desk moment. I am assuming this sit and natter over current events will have a revolving chair - otherwise Gary Eck is rooted.

Now let's look at the less than good parts of the show: Jackie O's segment. This whole spot of celebrity twitter reeks of bunging in a bit for the ladies. I believe the convo went something like this:

Molloy Boy 1: We need some chick stuff.
Molloy Boy 2: What about some celebrity crap? Chicks really dig that shit.
Molloy Boy 3: Yeah, we can show grabs of Hollywood vaginas and everything.
Molloy Boy 1: Sounds perfect.
Molloy Boy 2: We'll need a chick to host it.
Molloy Boy 3: Who's got big tits and has been on telly lately?
Molloy Boy 1 & 2: Fifi Box
Molloy Boy 3: We tried her but apparently she's got like...integrity or shit.
Molloy Boy 1: Fuck that for a joke. Who looks good and hasn't got any integrity?
Molloy Boy 1 & 2 & 3: Jackie O!!!!

I don't know how much of Jackie O's bit was devised by her and how much was directed by the production team but this is what it included:

• Paris Hilton in jail


• Britney Spears in an unflattering bikini shot (Molloy makes joke about applying spray tan via chopper)


• Lindsay Lohan attempts suicide with panadol (all around mirth)

Way to go guys, let's celebrate women on The Nation by making fun of their bodies, brushes with law and serious depression. Code Beyond Blue alert. Next time just wheel in the barrel of fish and the guns.

The highlight was a snippet of comedic rebel Sarah Silverman hosting the MTV awards.

Tips for improvement:

• Get some female writers, and while you're at it grab some perspective guys


• Get some female comedians - why are the guys all comedians but not the women?


• Lose the gossip spot


• Get out and about and do some vox pops


• Nicki Osbourne? What's the point? (more on this later)

Here's the best bit of the show with Stephen Curry and Lisa McCune:

And here's the second best bit of the show, a snippet of Sarah Silverman hosting the MTV awards: