Catherine Deveny - It IS her fault

You've heard of Catherine Deveny haven't you?

Loud-mouthed bogan from Coburg. ABC Melbourne radio afternoon fill-in for Richard Stubbs. Television and Opinion writer for The Age. Officially one of Melbourne's 100 Most Influential People. WHEN WILL THIS GIRL STOP? WHEN HER HEAD IS PLASTERED ON THE SIDE OF A SYDNEY ROAD TRAM?

Maybe you live overseas or interstate and haven't had the chance to cast your eye over her smart-arsed motor-mouthed diatribes. For people like you, or for those of you who like nothing better than reading the lucid thoughts of the northern suburbs' favourite crazy lady - I highly recommend Deveny's latest book, "It's Not My Fault They Print Them", published by Black Inc.

The collection features pieces Deveny has written about television (and anything she else she feels like) for The Age over recent years. To be honest I am a Deveny fan, I always flick to the back page of the A2 on Saturdays to find out which show she is carving up with the skill of a samurai (s)wordsmith and my Wednesday morning is not complete without a bowl of muesli, a good scream at the kids and 10 minutes with Deveny and her take on anything that gets her goat.

I could waffle on but let's face it, if you've found your way to this page you have no doubt already formed your opinion and you're either in Team Dev or Team Bolt. I'm just going to throw it over to Deveny to show us he wares. Below please find my favourite lines from the book:

The Grand Prix: "Knuckle-dragging petrol heads, anorexic bottle-blondes marinated in fake tan and middle-aged blokes with man boobs and pimples on their arses paying exorbitant amounts of money to watch cars go fast. What a disgrace. It's no wonder I drink."

Channel 9: "Put me on the Nine board. I'll be boning faster than a butcher's apprentice on Friday arvo."

Vasectomy: "I've made a living out of my own genitals being mutilated for the last seven years, thank you very much."

Valentine's Day: "You were in love once but when you brought them home to meet the family they carved their name in your dad's forehead."

McLeod's Daughters: "If you like your acting like your tables, wooden and with four legs, tune into Mcleod's Daughters."

The Footy Show: "Sit down, shut up and hang on. And ladies bring a plate."

Nick Giannopoulos: "You are like the Daryl Somers of wogs. Like him, you take everything far too seriously. Where's your sense of humour?"

I could give you some more but don't be a cheapskate - go and buy the book yourself. Please enjoy the artwork I have prepared in Catherine's honour.