Triple M Music Jury Dismissed

In a stunning about-face the judge residing over the Get This murder trial has dismissed members of the Triple M Music Jury. At 9 am yesterday the judge ordered the removal of jury foreman Wayne “Hando” Hando after hearing strong allegations that “Hando” Hando had been taking bribes from the Nickelback fan club and had spent seven years serving as a cadet in the Kiss Army.

The Judge, Brian Jonestown of the Massacre Supreme Court, made his decision in closed chambers, offered no explanation when he announced the ruling in open court then sealed the record that holds the discussion and notes surrounding the decision.

“Hando” Hando is in his mid-forties, has extensive experience in the building industry and had a penchant for eating KFC zinger wings throughout the trial. “Hando” Hando is the third person to be dismissed from the jury since the murder trial of Get This, just under two years old, began five weeks ago.

The dismissal of “Hando” Hando follows the removal on Tuesday of Mike “Frangers” Franger, who was dismissed for engaging in undisclosed misconduct. Legal experts said they suspected that “Frangers” Franger, who is 35 to 45 years old, might have done some of his own research, which could have involved a number of possibilities, including listening to credible music programming on both Triple R and PBS community radio stations in Melbourne.

Dismissal of the three jury members has seen a controversial shift in music programming throughout the 2-4 pm time slot. Songs from Lou Reed’s legendary Transformer album and cult hits from Britpop pioneers The Members have recently been heard.

Triple M Program Director Guy “Dobson” Dobson has found the process tumultuous. “Dobson” Dobson says: “These are confusion times for us at Austereo. It has been chaorific, we prefer our music bland-on-bland - not something for enjoyancing.”